Ruminations on beliefs

I discovered a secret so true today
It made be stop and rethink my philosophy
We all need affection a connection
To be appreciated and to stop misdirection
Misdirection that maybe stunts our growth
That we use in our world to hold back our feelings
Or maybe to stop the status quo from unreeling
Our beliefs we can change with a fight and struggleIMG_20150619_200636
If we recognise they are outmoded are causing us trouble
We make excuses for not taking action
Because maybe morally it causes dissension

A view of Cyberspace Relationships


We met on a word game in cyberspace
We got on well we bonded and chased
We talked and shared our lives our schemes
Hard to remember it is a fantasy, a dream
For we only know the other, from the information they have shared
They will have kept secrets though their soul seems to be bared
We see their lives from their point of view
Not a rounded version from others too
We found an oasis from lifes woes and cares
We are indulging in a cyber affair
We share great intimacy its exotic erotic
But its words and pictures its only symbolic
It revs up our hormones and gives us a thrill
Feels so real ,our needs to fulfill
It floats us away on an idealistic dream
When we mutually cum its so good we scream
We find so much in common it gives us a high
We see the nice bits not the grumps or the cry
We have to balance this wonderful time
To avoid these friendships would be a crime
But the real world comes first has to be the case
Fantasy is just that, it has a place
Enjoy the moments the tingle and the fun
If your emotions are entangled,it’s time to run
Understand the rules keep them in mind
Otherwise heart break will find you in time

Converging Lives Meet Rick

Meet Rick from Converging Lives one of the main protagonists…

An adrenaline junky, loves extreme sport

Married to an older woman…he was her toyboy….

Always, since first sexually aware, drawn to older women

He has a big appetite for extra marital scores, but doesn’t want to lose marriage perks and still cares for Gillian.

He no longer really  desires or feels in tune with her wants…she  seems to have lost interest in sex and adventure.

Golfing friend told about cyber…

Experimenting, learning, having some good laughs

Handsome, over six feet tall,dark hair…going slightly grey….beautiful eyes….draws women to him

Articulate and charming. Whilst very much at home with men, camaraderie and bonding are important to him. His communication style is very in tune with the female psychic which women particularly like.

He’s getting a little addicted to the cyber scene.

Spending more and more time in cyber

Likes the thrill of the chase, loves the new encounters …loves to feel he is giving the woman pleasure…..likes to be available and to share pleasure with the woman when she asks….. this is causing him problems, disturbing his sleep…causing him to take risks at home….what is the belief that is driving this need???

Virtual Relationships the start of the Debate




(plural) -ties

  1. the state of things as they are or appear to be, rather than as one might wish them to be
  1. something that is real
  1. the state of being real
  1. (philosophy)
    1. that which exists, independent of human awareness
    1. the totality of facts as they are, independent of human awareness of them See also conceptualism Compare appearance (sense 6)
  1. See in reality

fantasy or phantasy



(plural) -sies

  1. imagination unrestricted by reality
  2. (as modifier)   ⇒a fantasy world
  1. a creation of the imagination, esp a weird or bizarre one
  2. (psychology)
  1. a series of pleasing mental images, usually serving to fulfil a need not gratified in reality
  2. the activity of forming such images
  1. a whimsical or far-fetched notion
  2. an illusion, hallucination, or phantom
  3. a highly elaborate imaginative design or creation

So the fantasy relationship is something outside of normal reality. Ok the interaction feels solid enough, your imagination helps makes it feel pretty real and because It is intense communication, usually the body reacts ,as if in a real time relationship,  situation. The trouble is you are getting a picture of the person from their point of view of the world, you see the person as they present themselves. We all want to present ourselves in the best possible light and try to hide our flaws, idiosyncrasies and intolerances and as for our bad habits… hey do we really have any?  We  maybe do that at the start of a lot of relationships real or virtual so what is the big deal. In a virtual relationship it is easier to edit the truth to select the information being supplied to leave out whole chunks and where information about somebody is sparse then our minds fill in the gaps painting a picture adding on qualities or behaviours that work with our view of the world. There is also an issue with virtual communication, things are out of context, no visual cues if you are texting or emailing, what is sent and what you read may not have the same meaning, therefore misunderstandings are likely to happen. People in lots of situations edit the truth and in a virtual relationship it is very easy to do, so send a picture of a younger self, or have that as an avatar, profess to be doing things that one is not .

People are going to say ah yes but over time you get to know the person and yes to a degree you do, you may learn of the frustrations and hurt happening with an ongoing partner but if you could view the story from the other persons point of view how different would it be? Your virtual buddy might demonstrate anger about something, but you are getting the words not seeing the emotions in practice, is that person scary, aggressive, petulant or sulky when angry? What are they like when they are down or grumpy, it may well be you only ever interact with them when they are in a good mood, or bored because at other times they probably don’t bother with virtual communication. What about those bad habits that are integral to our personae? The good thing is personal cleanliness and halitosis are not a problem in the virtual world!

There are going to be lots of great things about friends in cyberspace, those that enjoy the same hobbies and pastimes, that have the same political and ideological views, people you can discuss, debate and have a meaningful conversation with. So potentially really rewarding, if kept in balance with the fact it’s a virtual relationship you are having. If you are in a cyber relationship or thinking of embarking on  one you need to think through what you want from the relationship, are you doing it because you are missing emotional support in the real world, You are looking for love, you are in an unhappy relationship and this is balm or maybe a way out? Are you looking for intimacy? Or are you just finding new people to interact with to fill times of boredom when nothing better is available in the real world? If you are not clear you can fall in love with your perfect virtual soul mate. relationships. 

I suggested to somebody that they should be clear about what they wanted and articulate that because the way his virtual affair was going somebody was going to be very badly hurt. I was told he was not a robot; it didn’t work like that he couldn’t think through and be clear about what he wanted. Others say oh we play it by ear and are then are shocked when the other party suddenly wants exclusivity, gets jealous wants more time.

I hope this may generate some debate. More to follow

After a while you learn… by Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

Pure Nourishment

After some time you learn the difference,
The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
And company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts,
And presents aren’t promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats,
With your head up and your eyes ahead,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn,
That even the sun burns if you get too much,
And learn that it doesn’t matter how much you do care about,
Some people simply don’t care at all.
And you accept that it doesn’t matter how good a person is,
She will hurt you…

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Introducing Eve and her poetry

Hi, my name is Eve I will skim over my age sufficient to say I am well past my twenties!!! I am a physiotherapist working in Occupational Medicine. My life is a little off balance at the moment and writing is a way for me to let off steam and to relax.

This is my self portrait

I have a very serious side

I wear my dignity with pride

The trouble is its hard to hide

the frivolous  me that lurks inside

Outside a lady calm and  serene

Inside a girl who would like to dream

The trouble is its hard to hide

The sexy me that lurks inside

I like to play lots of games

Some that may take using brains

The trouble is its hard to hide

The scatty me that hides inside

I like to analyse my life

It helps to keep me out of strife

The trouble is its hard to hide

The impetuous me that hides inside

Who knows what the whole maybe

Tis certain it isnt me.

First post Internet relationships

I am writing a novel set around internet friendships and have done much research into emotional relationships. I have not been researching the internet dating scene, those people who are actively  searching. Instead I have. been looking at relationships that have occurred serendipitously. Relationships that spring from chance meetings on games sites or the social media.Many of these friendships and subsequent emotional bonds happen to people already in partnerships or marriages,some strong, some rocky. I want to explore some of the issues around this area . I want to explore the issues of ethics, of how to guard your heart in a fantasy world,maybe the rules one needs to think about. To get those of you in such a relationship or about to embark on one to think about the ramifications. I hope to share the views of real people with the views of some of my characters. So this is my starting point, hope its an interesting journey.