The knowledge shared, about the each other , by partners is one of the most wonderful aspects of a close, long-term relationship. It is an issue , though, when we begin to think we know everything about our partner. We make assumptions about what they are thinking and fail to see the progressive changes, as they, like us continually grow and develop. We then interact on a faulty premise which can harm the the long term viability of the relationship.
Every bit as important as attracting your ideal mate, is continually creating an environment for your partner to grow, develop and freely express themselves. Such an environment encourages ever-deepening intimacy and allows you both to discover joy, love, and satisfaction in all aspects of your lives together.
Knowing how to find something positive in a truly negative looking situation is the way to find inner happiness. Inner happiness enables more fulfilled relationships.
Most of us want of a deeply connected relationship that grows better and more intimate with time. We believe that our twin soul is out there somewhere if only we could find them. If our present relationships are not giving the connections we crave, we may continue looking, searching yearning for the perfect partner. For most of us, though, the perfect relationship won’t suddenly appear as if by magic, we may already have it, but have just lost sight of it, or we are,maybe, still be searching. Lifelong compatibility takes work, once the first thrill and excitement burn away, we need to maintain and build on what we have.
The work we need to do has to be mainly on ourselves and how we interact in our relationships. We can’t leave it to fate, or our significant others. There are changes we can make right now, that will allow a more fulfilled relationship experience into our lives.
If life was just about finding the ideal mate, going with love at first sight, no further work to be done then divorces should be less and more people should be enjoying healthier, happier relationships.
Often though, that seemingly ideal match will begin to lose its shine over time, particularly if both people aren’t developing and nurturing qualities, that will continually breathe new life into their relationship. What we can never do, is directly change the other person, in order to have the sort of relationship we want, we have to work on the issues within our own sphere of influence. There are things in our own characters we don’t admit to, or that we don’t want others to see, or issues…beliefs buried in our subconscious, that we are unaware of. Any of these things can get between us and our relationships. They can stop us dealing effectively with the issues in many spheres of our lives. Uncovering and acknowledging self-defeating behaviour, or recognizing when we are being manipulative, blaming, or judgmental, can be difficult. Rather than disguising or burying fears, we need to make an effort to draw them out so we can explore and understand them. People who approach life in a spirit of discovery know that every experience and interaction can help them in their pursuit to see themselves more clearly and ultimately to feel happier.
ln order to get the best from life and relationships, we need the awareness to let go of unnecessary judgments and expectations about the world and what happens in it. Trying to be open, not judgemental , can help us to be receptive to others opinions even if we don’t agree with them . This doesn’t mean adopting an artificially positive attitude or denying what’s happening or what we are feeling. It means continually growing in our ability to accept what is, including what’s happening and what we are feeling. Being able to apply this attitude to our relationships enables them to grow and be dynamic. If we can rein in having numerous expectations about what other people should or shouldn’t do, approach everyone with openness and receptivity this can help you to see the situation from a different view point.
This one change in thinking and acting in our primary relationships can change a miserable experience into an amazing one.
With every situation we encounter ,we have choices in how we respond, we can respond from a place of resistance or from a place of acceptance. When we are in resistance mode we feel instant irritation, frustration or anger. We may speak out harshly, bitterly,try to futility stem the unstoppable tide.These attitudes will also profoundly effect how our experience unfolds.
Accepting what is happening right now , does not imply we are happy with a situation or that we condone it, or stop trying to improve it. It just means we don’t waste our energies in a negative response, instead we utilise our resources in a positive manner.
Stuck in a traffic jam, irritated, angry blood pressure raised, won’t change the fact, centre yourself use the time to relax plan for the future, get some unexpected me time. Use the same techniques in relationship issues.
To enable openness you need to put aside your natural resistance, if you feel resistance in yourself to anything; ideas, situations, events, or people: this question will help you break through that resistance and find ways to make the most of what you’re experiencing. What is there for me to learn here? What can I change? This can shift your focus from everything’s wrong, but it’s nothing to do with me to; to things are not right but what are the possibilities here.
All very well, you may say, I am not the one causing the issues, l am the victim of the situation. But you can only work on your feelings and your reactions and by doing so, you can change your behaviour from a negative to a positive response. Or learn how to deal with issues in a more productive way.
In order to get the best from life, people with well-developed responses know that even the most challenging circumstances, situations, or people have something of value to offer. This isn’t being naive or unrealistic. It’s the simple recognition that things won’t always go our way. Schedules change, cars and computers eventually need repair, and at some point we’re going to encounter long lines, rudeness, or rush-hour traffic. These people know that their experience of these events is directly linked to how they approach them. We need to be one of those people.
Searching for potentially positive aspects or outcomes in the midst of a difficult situation doesn’t deny the seriousness of the circumstances or any pain or grief you and others might be experiencing. On the contrary—focusing on the positive may well give you (and everyone involved) encouragement, confidence, and strength. Qualities like these are very beneficial in the face of challenging circumstances. Remember to look for the positive aspects in each situation you encounter.
When someone expresses an opinion that’s different from yours, ask yourself. What is there for me to learn, here? This will greatly reduce the need to justify your position or defend yourself in some way. Instead, you’re likely to find yourself authentically connecting with this person and genuinely interested in understanding their perspective. Whenever you’re resisting whether it is what is going on right now, whether it’s boredom impatience or frustration. If you can find a positive,instead of focussing on the negative it can help you let go of unnecessary expectations about how the world has to work.
When you become more open in your ability to gain positives from life then you are more open to a fulfilling relationship experience.
Knowing how to find something positive in a truly negative looking situations is the way to find inner happiness. Inner happiness enables more fulfilled relationships.
At the drop of a pin
The urges might win
Race down my spine
Feelings almost realigned
Feel tingles, in my clef
Breathless, I am left
Uttering your name
Grabbing your heart
Entwining mine from the start
Submerged in the glow
Allowing the flow
Between you and me
What effect will it be
Music, cued begin
Head first into sin.
Jackson : Live in Italy at the moment. Did UK Belgium, NZ and Aus on my way here. Curse of the traveller.
Christine : Well so much world to see.
Jackson : Exactly.
Christine : However never managed NZ or Aus…yet anyway!Would love to visit Australia have a friend there. Did you just travel or work and travel?
Jackson : Worked inNZ and Aus.
Christine: Nice way to get a feel for places.
Christine: Hah just made a tactical error! Bum…playing and watching tv…
Christine: Thought you would use that space and slaughter me… phew! What are you interested in outside Crozzle?
Jackson: Sport sport sport sport… Oh and sport.
Christine: Laughing….you like sport….woooo…..l know very littlee about sport….but always interested to share in anothers passions……
Jackson : Oh sex too…..:)
Christine:1 am learning about golf at mo….a whole new vocabulary!! Lol
Jackson : It’s another passion 🙂
Christine: That would be sex or golf?
Jackson : Not a golf fan….. Hate the culture. Love the sex culture though 😉
Christine :1 am just learning about the game…theoretically….never going to play…. What’s a sex culture?
Jackson : Just joking!
Christine: Please don’t say s and m I spent the weekend having discussions about the story of o!
Jackson: No I just kidding. So you’re not into S&M? 🙂
Christine : Its ok…sex is high on most mens priorities..
Jackson: I’m just kidding. I know women don’t want to get tortured by horny men.
Christine : Personally no…I see sex as the giving and recieving of pleasure…and pleasure not pain!!
If S and M turns one on…its fine…consenting adults do what ever makes them happy….
Jackson: So pleasure is your thing.
Christine : Er yes….what else is it about.,…both to get and give.
Jackson : And how do you like to get?
Christine :Pleasure?Well usual sort of ways….foreplay…sex play …afterplay…maybe some fantasy….
Jackson : You married?
Jackson : Always well behaved?
Christine: Define well behaved.
What fantasy to play today
Does dominance hold its sway
Do rules and punishment, fit the bill
Or is that passee over the hill
Should I be the porno star
Draped Semi naked on a car
Does flaunting the body ,give the thrill
Or is it passee over the hill
The laundry maid in dress and cap
Cleaning, bending ,showing that gap
Will that blow job ,make u chill
Or is it passee over the hill
Will girls together hit the spot
Would you find it ,kind of hot
Could you rise and join the mill
Or is it passee over the hill
Shall we sit and watch some porn
Then replicate it, till the morn
Would it help increase our skill
Or is it passee over the hill
Should I be myself today
Just engage in normal play
Would you find it sweet and still
Or is it passee over the hill.
I want to give you a sexy day
Have you aroused in every way
Does fantasy play fit the bill
Or is it passee over the hill
It’s about our pleasure yours and mine
So nothings passee if inclined
Eve: On the radio they are suggesting, choose your pop star name, by the colour of your trousers plus the last thing you ate…mine is turquoise toast…what is yours?
Rick: Black rigatoni.
Eve : Thats a pretty good name..sounds kind of sexy!!! IMHO
Rick : Noire rigatoni, now I sound like an Italian gigolo.
Dipping into my world of pleasure
Seeing pictures, making stories to treasure
Sharing moments with your stimuli
Makes me feel good,makes me fly
Sweet swirling melody of life
Ridding me of stress and strife
Solo colours are picked, then mixed
How they will translate it’s in the fix
Stroking the colours sensually through
Leaving streaks of erotic hues
Shuddering dimensions waves of light
Affecting my vision affecting my sight
My bag full of pleasure is shared in part
Creating the landscape for vicarious art
Sex is a two way process, recieve but also give
Cyber is but fantasy, but sometimes helps folk live
If a friend is feeling horny, why not help if it feels right
Dont play and get involved if its going to cause a fright
There are people, it seems fine to share with, but try to keep it tame
Others are just dangerous will take advantage, it’s not a game
You have to go on instinct but also think it through
Cyber has its dangers that could cause you to rue
Oxytocin is lurking, to cause emotions to run high
Fall in love at your peril, how much is a lie
Sex is a two way process, receive but also give