The vagaries of health information

I hear the news,

 I read the papers

The rules to good health

give me the vapours

Today red wine is good for the heart

Yesterday it was a poisoned dart

Fruit is in and then it’s out

Smoothies are good then

 there is doubt

So I try and try 

to follow the rules

Though I begin to think they 

are written by fools

I give up wine and drink more water

Eat healthy food, pass junk more

 than I oughta

I eat less meat and eat more beans

You can hear me coming 

if you know what I mean

Butters in then it’s out

My poor sober brain begins to doubt

I eat healthy food, I hardly drink

I exercise to reduce

 my bingo wings

It’s all so pointless I feel sad

When healthy living should 

make me glad

I drink more wine, I reduce the water

Read the news want to shoot the reporter

I am on the treadmill what the hell 

Just might just  have a Donut ,as well

I skip the news and censor the paper

I use common sense, maybe a ball breaker

I weigh myself and exercise 

A slim svelte body the ultimate prize

I drink more wine, I dance and sing

Join an exercise class for lots of ping

I weigh myself, I give it up

Throw the scales in the garbage truck.