Self improvement

I hear the news, I read the papers
The rules to good health, give me the vapours
Today red wine is good for the heart
Yesterday it was a poisoned dart
Fruit is in and then it’s out
Smoothies are good then there is a doubt
So I try and try to follow the rules
Though I begin to think they are written by fools
I give up wine and drink more water
Eat healthy food, pass junk ,more than I oughta
I eat less meat and eat more beans
You can hear me coming ,if you know what I mean
Butters in then it’s out
My poor sober brain begins to doubt
I eat healthy food, I hardly drink
I exercise to reduce my bingo wings
It’s all so pointless I feel sad
When healthy living should make me glad
I drink more wine, I reduce the water
Read the news want to shoot the reporter
I am on the treadmill what the hell
Might as well have a Donut ,as well
I skip the news and censor the paper
I use common sense, a ball breaker
I weigh myself and exercise
A slim svelte body the ultimate prize
I drink more wine I dance and sing
Join an exercise class for lots of ping
I weigh myself I give it up
Throw the scales in the garbage truck
I shop, I live, I eat I drink, sod the fads they mostly suck

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