Life has moved on updated

Here is the first version of this Pantoun I have since reworked        it please see the second version any thoughts if either works?

        I flutter and fly like a trapped butterfly

Commitment I promised it wasn’t a lie

While life has moved your love I  still crave

It applies throughout life into the grave

Commitment, I promised it wasn’t a lie

I tried to stay true but you said goodbye

It applies throughout life into the grave 

Once word is given it shouldn’t enslave

I stayed true but you said goodbye

Needs, change the picture I understand why

Once word is given, it should not enslave

We should try to honour it  be strong and brave

Needs change the picture I understand why

You need to move on although I shall cry

Though we should try to honour it, be strong and brave

Throw out  commitment, morality waive

You need to move on although I shall cry

I will find a way, to fly in the sky

Throw out commitment morality waive

I keep my values my sanity to save

I will find a way to fly in the sky

While life has moved your love I still crave

I keep my values my sanity to save

I flutter and fly like a trapped butterfly.
Written in the form Pantoum .

Version 2.
I flutter and fly like a trapped butterfly

The commitment you  promised was a big lie

Now you have gone your love I  still crave

It will probably stay till I go to my grave
The commitment, you promised was a big lie

I wanted to stay true but you said goodbye

It will probably stay till I go to my grave 

Although a love once given, shouldn’t be betrayed
I wanted to stay true but you said goodbye

You changed the picture I don’t understand why

Although a love once given, shouldn’t be betrayed

We should try to honour it  be strong and brave
You changed the picture I don’t understand why

You left with such bitterness it’s hard to justify 

Though we should try to honour it, be strong and brave

There comes a time with sadness our feelings to waive
You left with such bitterness it’s hard to justify

I need to rebuild my life and just quantify

There comes a time with sadness our feelings to waive

The old life with you has nothing to save
I need to rebuild my life and just quantify

Now you have gone your love I still crave

But the old life with you has nothing to save

I flutter and fly like a freed butterfly

.


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