Category: fun

Flash Fiction. African Safari

I wake up to the bright light of morning, listening to the sounds of the insects as the alarm on my phone resonates with the barking guffaw of the zebra (I changed it to enhance the mood). Light is flooding through the walls of the tent. As I stretch and wiggle, luxuriating in the comfort of the bed, I am struck by the contrast of this tent cum up market villa, full of modern conveniences with the rugged unspoilt bush just feet away. Africa, I am in Africa. In a haven in the wilderness.  I sniff the air, it smells warm, dusty with a faint undefinable odour maybe of the red earth itself. The scritch of crickets fills the air, their sound overlaid by the rich song of the birds in the nearby trees. I can hear the muted chink of pans and crockery; the chef must be in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

 The amount of insect and bird life filling the air is amazing. Such a cacophony, it is almost overwhelming as I try to distinguish individual voices. This noise is incredible even without the voices of the large animals, who have gone quiet. Last night there was such a variety of noises permeating the tent, cracks and swishing from a browsing herd of elephants, alarm calls from buck and zebra and the cackle of the hyena sending a chill down my spine. Loved every second. I presume the animals both predator and prey are trying to stay invisible in the brightness if the day.
There is too much to do to stay in bed, so I make a move. The wind gusts and the door of the tent blows open, I walk over to close it, standing for a moment; a flicker of movement catches my eye. I register an impala racing past followed by a cheetah. The kill happens around 7 metres from the door of the tent. Quick and clean. Life begetting life. Awesome moment.  The cheetah turns its head towards me, (it feels an acknowledgement of my presence) then drags the impala into the bush. Wow!! What a start to the day. 

My blood is singing through my veins, my heart thumping that sight has been a pure adrenaline rush. I am privileged to see the power of nature in action.

Indoor or outdoor shower? No contest I must go with the full experience, so it must be the outside bush shower. I walk out onto the deck past the plunge pool, draping a towel around my nakedness. This clever arrangement is like the old, less salubrious camping days and much more to my taste. A canvas screen set up, with a wooden tripod sporting a large plastic bladder filled with water. The floor has a wooden grating to keep the feet clean. I leave my stubble in place and just soap my body then pull the string so that water from the bladder cascades over me, rinsing off the soap and energising my mind. Humming under my breath I shake myself like a dog and stand eyes closed basking for a moment in the heat of the sun. I reach for the towel and walk back to the tent drying myself in total harmony with this world. 

Today I have a scheduled game drive to acclimatise myself to the heat and rhythms of African  life, so different from my typical day. I am at peace relaxed and ready for any surprises that the day will bring. Tomorrow will be more testing, a trek into the wilderness with wild camping and two guides I am bursting with excitement today is the appetiser before the main meal begins. 

Another year older!

Oh woe, I woke up today,

Granted a good thing,anyway,

I looked in the mirror and seemed the same,

Slightly creased and crumpled, hair a tatty mane,

My angst,  is mostly due to the  fact,

I aged a whole year in the night, a really unfair attack,

Birthdays are often fun,

More especially, when we are young,

I can’t quite celebrate, like the New Year,

Will make an effort later though, let’s be clear,

Checked again,face looks very much the same,

Grinning now, deciding to play life’s game,

Using my new perfume, designed for the rebellious girl,

Up and at life,  age is a label, new avenues to unfurl,

With age comes wisdom  (some of the time),

I am maturing like  a fine red wine,

Or maybe a piece of maturing cheese,

But staying youthful if you please,

That sneaky added year, that arrived in the night,

Will not change things without a fight.

Room with a view

The room with the view
Has a problem or two
Its up five flights of stairs
There aren’t any chairs
When you get to the top
You feel that you’ll drop
You are so red in the face
Breathless with the pace
You have to lie down
Now comes a frown
Cause the room with the view
Its only a loo!

Funchal

​Sunshine on the hillside glinting houses white 

Bouganvillia near the dock glowing ever bright

Cable cars into the sky an orderly procession

Giving stunning views,though safety an obsession

Tobogans flying down the hills, tourists terrify

Flowers in the market, our senses electrify

Maderia wine on offer, plucked from the vine 

So many types to try, free tasting,  so divine

Walking on pictured,cobbled, pavements 

Past Birds of Paradise ,such an amazement

The world is ever bright

 sunshine on the hillside Glinting houses white

Visiting Funchal a veritable delight

Golf

​Golf a new sport to try

Learn some new skills to satisfy

Learn to hit  a ball with a club

How difficult can it be, unless I hit the scrub

Stand relaxed and swing from the hips

Practice the move, heck have to be a contortionist 

Ready to try, they said go to tee

 Not the drink I expected, but a plastic dinkie

Now I am worried, is golf really kinky

Is this T motorised and kind of pinky?
I take up my stance and swing at the ball

Manage to hit it no trouble at all

Just heard a comment that’s got up my nose

I know I am no vision in these odd clothes

But to mention my flanks is beyond the pale

They tried to change it to shanks, hah a likely tale

Some talk of an iron

Is it forefits to frighten?

If they bring out their smalls 

They can keep their balls
Ah, now somebody just got a birdy

Thats really too much

Killing helpless creatures, that’s so out of touch

I think all this perversion

Is too much for me, is there another version

Maybe I just need a strong cup of tea.

Reblogged.

Feet

​I quite like feet,

I think they are kind of neat,

If you believe in birth signs,

There might be a link,

Pisces like feet I think,

They should be our heroes,

 In praise they get zeros,

They carry our weight,

Though they are a part, we might hate,

As erogenous zones go,

For many, they are a no go,

Sucking toes  seems to induce shudders,

Not of desire, but outrage in others,

Poor little feet,

Can be quite sweet,

OK they can pong,

That is very wrong,

But still I have to repeat,

I quite like feet.

Anticipation

​Anticipation

Starting a new chapter

Anticipation

New period of rapture

New dating

Maybe mating

Anticipation 

They tick all the boxes

How thick a façade do they have to fox us

Anticipation

Expecting lots of validation

Out if the window procrastination

Anticipation

Putting aside old wrongs and disappointments

Clean sheet foregoing clairvoyance

Anticipation

Hoping for a match

Going to damp down expectations

Waiting for this adventure, too unfurl and hatch

Anticipation

An alternative look at golf

​Golf a new sport to try

Learn some new skills to satisfy

Learn to hit  a ball with a club

How difficult can it be, unless I hit the scrub

Stand relaxed and swing from the hips

Practice the move, heck have to be a contortionist 

Ready to try, they said go to tee

 Not the drink I expected, but a plastic dinkie

Now I am worried, is golf really kinky

Is this t motorised and kind of pinky?
I take up my stance and swing at the ball

Manage to hit it no trouble at all

Just heard a comment that’s got up my nose

I know I am no vision in these odd clothes

But to mention my flanks is beyond the pale

They tried to change it to shanks, hah a likely tale

Some talk of an iron

Is it forefits to frighten?

If they bring out their smalls 

They can keep their balls

Ah, now somebody just got a birdy

Thats really too much

Killing helpless creatures, thats so out of touch

I think all this perversion

Is too much for me, is there another version

It seems there maybe, maybe I just need a strong cup of tea
With apologies to golfers my try at highlighting some of the golf venacular!